You ever feel like you are a part of something bigger than yourself? A conduit for a divine plan to shake out?
This morning I did a babyPUNK at the library and stopped at McGill Rose Garden on my way back to the Lab. I'm doing "The Artist's Way" right now and it's part of my homework. On my artist's date, I did a lot of deep thinking while crafting a mandala. It was easy to be alone today. I've had a lot on my mind.
It's kind of funny. I have this rock n' roll, badass persona (it's true... I am badass). But my life is filled with the most breathtaking sweet and gentle moments.
It's a strange juxtaposition of raw edginess and vulnerable softness.
I was playing "Zombie" by the Cranberries for infants and babies at the Library. The crunch of my loop rolling, I grabbed my acoustic and put tiny chunky hands and feet on the body of my guitar so they could feel the vibration while I strummed.
The children's' eyes were wide, cracking drool filled smiles as they literally felt the music flow into their sweet little toes and grasping fingers. I see divinity in those moments. A radiating love and peace.
A brief moment in time when I forget about the stress of going through a divorce. The weight of figuring all this shit out on my own.
Birthing a dream is a lot like birthing a child. All of this time and energy spent nourishing it, keeping it safe. Then the day comes for the grand exit and there your baby is, out in the world. Vulnerable. Beautiful.
You give everything in you. Things you didn't even know were there to nurture your creation, to keep it safe. A part of you so protective of this thing that belongs ultimately to itself.
In the beginning stages of creating the magical music space that is Pachyderm Music Lab, I was scared to let people in to share in the building of it.
I wanted everything to be perfect, control of every single aspect. I thought I had the answers. The answers shifted as the questions changed and I found myself softening. I began to let others in to share in the creation. That's when things started to really align.
As the dream gets more life experience, it starts to adapt. The dream takes shape around those who have entered it's space. It has taken years, but here we are together.
We are both a lot different than we were when we started.
In a space of awe and reverence for our new situation at Pachyderm. A respect for the synchronicities that got us to where we are. Gratitude for those who have supported and stepped into carry the baby to full term.
I don't know what it's all going to look like in the end, and I'm ok with that. I know that whatever the path looks like, I'll be humbled and wiser having experienced it.
Here's to more moments of magic and awe. More moments of peace. Learning from the babies, the moms, the instructors, the workshop leaders, community volunteers, sponsors and supporters.
September 21st 2019
At a space that was built on wishes.
Rock on 22nd
423 East 22nd Street
Charlotte, NC 28206